There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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