Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
