Your face is a jimmy john
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize