He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish there were birth control emojis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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