***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
