Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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