God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize