Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
