Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
