You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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