im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
