whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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