i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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