party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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