i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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