I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We have started to decorate penises.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am mentally ready for anal.
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