I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
