i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
