What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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