Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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