why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
