I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
