Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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