so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
