Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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