so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
