Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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