oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I love you.
Bad choice
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