I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
