The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize