Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
there is puke in my bra ... again
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