her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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