"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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