I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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