In the future we'll all be gay
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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