i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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