my mouth tastes like poor choices
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
