his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
