Everything about him screamed your future.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
