you guys were way drunker than both of me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
