Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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