Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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