I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
