Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
