So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.