I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...