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okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
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