i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.