I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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