So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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