The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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