i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
