oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
