i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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