Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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