he thought i was a dude.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
