You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I pour the whiskey from now on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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