Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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