I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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