I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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