I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
