yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
