she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
