I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My feet surprised me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
